PICTURE PERFECT

I am a great advocate of capturing and preserving precious memories through pictures/videos/memoirs etc. Any medium will do, as long as the purpose is served. Ever since we had Ved, it has seemed even more imperative to maintain the flow of memories and ensure that none of us forget his first’s. Well, since almost all survival skills have to be learnt, everything my little one has done since birth has been a “first”.

Roomie often jests that our child will be scarred for life…either that or develop severe performance anxiety, if I insist on following him around with a camera at all odd hours of the day and night! At times, I fear that my son will have no recollection of my face, and will probably look upon a camera lens with more affection than my own dirty mug. Nothing has deterred me thus far, from constantly following him around with a camera slung over my shoulder. I do have certain lapses too. I have learnt the hard way that I am not fast enough to beat an inquisitive and energetic child. Having lost a fully functional and very expensive digital camera due to my eagerness to encourage my child’s curiosity, (I learnt the hard way that digital items are not good substitutes for toys) only my utter contriteness and effusive gratitude for a new camera saved the day! Roomie sulked for a while but to give him due credit, refrained from uttering the dreaded, “I told you so”.

With a better camera in tow and ever more watchful now, I prance around my son in a vain attempt to get the best angles. Sigh, getting a good shot at the best of times requires expertise and cajoling, especially since a baby’s attention span is so limited. To top that, I have an uncooperative hubby who would rather chortle at my doggedness than participate and elicit a few good poses from the little one. I sometimes marvel at his detachment. Our son is two years old now and of the thousands of pictures that I have assimilated over these two years, roomie’s contribution will probably number a measly hundred…which of course, resulted from my repeated requests to put that index finger to good use.

I recall a particularly hilarious incident, while I was visiting my in-laws in India. Whilst we were all busy getting ready for an outing, Ved decided to explore his new environment on his own. Fascinated by his own shoes, he picked one up and did what babies do best…he decided to taste it. I walked in to find my son, merrily chewing on his shoe strap and was so taken by the innocent “I couldn’t resist it” expression in his eyes that I decided to capture the moment for posterity. My in-laws were aghast that I allowed him to chew on his laces, a few moments longer than necessary. I probably should have rushed to his rescue the moment I saw what he was up to, yet, I must admit, it is one of my favorite pictures till date!

Ved and I have special cozy sessions now; both of us enjoy viewing his pictures and almost always he pleads that I regale him with the story behind the picture. I can relive those moments all over again and who better to share it with than my own muse? For all his bluster and recalcitrance to take up the camera, roomie always enjoys viewing my humble collection and has often subtly prodded me to be more creative.

Pictures and videos are the best medium to connect with family back home. Even from across continents, our folks eagerly await constant updates about their grandchild and it pleases me that we can put technology to such good use. Hurrah for modern technology!

I draw the line at some subjects though. I have rarely taken a picture that may embarrass Ved as an adult (at least I hope so). Even when he was a newborn, I refused to take naked pictures and as long as I have a say in the matter, I will never allow him to be dressed up as a girl! Two favorite picture theme requests from the grandparents that roomie and I have turned down repeatedly. It is not a moral standpoint, but rather a practical one. I dread to think where these pictures can turn up and how they can inconvenience my son when he is an adult. Imagine being the CEO of a fortune 500 company when someone publishes a picture of such a powerful man in his birth suit!! Shudder! Shudder!

Even though he is only a child, he has his right to privacy and we will ensure that we respect that. Perhaps there will be a day when he will knock our socks off, by mailing us nude pictures from a Mardi Gras parade, or when he snorkels butt naked with his girlfriend, but these are personal choices that he shall make. For now, I am content with capturing the little milestones from babydom to toddlerhood!

MATERNITY TO MOTHERHOOD

The transition from expectant mom to exhausted mom is really swift. No matter how much you read or refer to books/internet, or draw on the experiences of peers and parents, you are on your own, at least as far as the experience is concerned. Of course, the constant support and help of family and friends' is invaluable, but it does not detract from your learning experiences.

I was so thrilled to have Ved, that the pain seemed ephemeral . After the C-section, I bled for days on end. It amused me that in spite of bleeding thus, combined with the fact that I was nursing my child exclusively, my body still retained sufficient fluids to function. I must admit that I am in total awe of the physical power which women yield after childbirth. Envision this...you nurture a child for 9 months within your womb, you bear excruciating pain to bring that child into the world and live to tell the tale and to top it all, from the moment you hold your little one , your body is readily providing the only nourishment the child needs!! Wow!! Really!

Motherhood has been an extremely rewarding experience. I do not regret putting my career on the back-burner, nor do I resent the multi-tasking that is involved in raising a child without the constant support of family or friends. The best part of being a mom is the constant involvement in every stage of the child's development. I do not mean that in a feminist sense. I am sure that there are men who are equally at ease and as adept at raising a child as women are...but they are in a minority, I am sure. Personally, I wouldn't like to trade spaces with my roomie on this one. Some day, when I take up the career torch again, I will have these years, these memories, these little treasured moments that I spent exclusively with my child.

Ved brought me fulfillment. I am not infallible...indeed I have made parenting mistakes along the way, yet he loves me unconditionally. It humbles me, gives me strength and makes me want to be a better person and a better mom. When those little eyes well up with tears, I feel the pain like a physical whiplash. His uninhibited gurgles, his innocence and his unconditional affection are ample reward for everything that I do. It is and will always be enough!

TIMING IS EVERYTHING!

It is absurd how we pretend that we have absolute control over everything in life. Ever so often, we get kicked in the shins and land flat on our butts; we gather up the remnants of our pride and pretend that we were practicing free-falling for fun!

Roomie I and had been married four years before we decided to have our first baby. These were wonderfully idyllic years, filled with professional ambitions, strategically planned career moves, impulsive holiday getaways and wonderful weekends spent exploring the city and each other. During these four years we learnt to cohabit, co-exist and even concede an argument willingly. We closed our eyes at each other’s follies, prioritized preferences and slowly emerged as each others better half!

Four years of fun and frolic also caused a great deal of consternation to our mutual families' and perhaps they were all baffled about our "childless" status. After the first year, the subtle hints for grandchildren began. Every time we visited our parents' we had to detect and deflect the sarcasm that amused as well as annoyed us in equal measure. To truly understand the stigma of not procreating early, one must be born an Indian. After the stipulated "respectable" period of concessions,(which is usually assumed to be a year at best) everyone from the scullery maid to the local grocery vendor starts worrying about what transpires behind our closed bedroom doors! At one point, roomie and I had nightmares about people surreptitiously watching all our moves and taking notes!! It would not have surprised us in the least if we'd received pamphlets titled, "What to do and what not to do!"

We were in no hurry though and after four fine years, we succumbed to the inevitable. By then, I was primed and excited, roomie was eager and willing and the rest of the family was nauseous with anxiety. In hindsight, I will always hail this as the best decision ever made. All my maternity hormones apart, in an unidentifiable manner, my pregnancy gave me a new perspective in life. In essence, I lost some of my unnecessary bluster, gained pounds as well as wisdom and realized very early on that "I" would always be tagged with "US". I was most certainly "Tamed by a Heartbeat"!

I loved everything about my pregnancy. The anticipation and the frenzy that it generated within the family will ring a bell with many first-time expectant mom's. Everyone had opinions and they were unabashed to share them. Ranging from concern to coercion, I often had more than my share of advise and I suspect that I gained quite a few extra pounds just from the counsel that I received.

Ah, but I do not begrudge them their concerns now. Assuming the mantel of parenthood, makes you realize that you wear your heart on your sleeve, as far as your child is concerned. If need be, you'd try and change the course of the earth's trajectory, if it would steady and ease your child's pain or discomfort. Well, my first born, Ved, arrived in the summer of 2007...all 8 pounds and 15 ounces of perfection! As friends and family rejoiced and roomie regained his stature on the performance scoreboard, my world readily shrank within the confines of the Operating Room (I had a C-section.) My myopic gaze rested on the little screaming body, wrapped in warm hospital blankets and my first thought was, "My son...my baby...Oh wow!"

Timing is most certainly everything...an early pregnancy, perhaps, would have felt rushed and made us feel out of sorts. When Ved arrived, it felt just right...like it was always meant to be. Perfect timing, I would call it.